When Respect is Missing: Should You Stay in the Relationship?
Marriage is a sacred covenant designed by God to reflect His love, honor, and faithfulness. A strong marriage is built on mutual respect, trust, and love. But what happens when respect is missing—even before marriage?
If you are in a relationship where your partner disrespects you, it is crucial to seek biblical wisdom before making a lifelong commitment. Scripture provides clear guidance on how to approach this difficult situation with faith and discernment.
The Biblical Importance of Respect in Relationships
“Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband”
God designed marriage to be a partnership where husbands love sacrificially, and wives honor and respect their husbands. Without respect, a relationship will be filled with conflict, resentment, and pain.
Disrespect in a relationship is not just unpleasant—it is a warning sign.
How Do You Recognize Disrespect?
Disrespect is more than just occasional disagreements or personality differences. It is a consistent pattern that diminishes the other person’s worth. Some common signs include:
Dismissing your thoughts and opinions
Speaking to you with sarcasm, contempt, or criticism
Publicly embarrassing or mocking you
Flirting with others and violating relationship boundaries
Ignoring your emotional or spiritual needs
Using manipulation or control instead of healthy communication
A Crucial Question:
If your partner does not respect you before marriage, what makes you think marriage will change that?
“A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike”
A marriage without respect will not magically transform into a loving partnership. Instead, disrespect often intensifies over time.
Why Respect is Non-Negotiable in Marriage
God established marriage to be a reflection of His relationship with the Church—one built on love, commitment, and mutual honor.
“ Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord... Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it”
A biblical marriage requires:
A husband who loves and leads with humility, not control
A wife who respects and supports her husband
A foundation of mutual honor, where both partners seek God’s will together
When respect is absent, the marriage will suffer. Disrespect erodes intimacy, weakens trust, and creates an environment of resentment rather than love.
Can You Change Your Partner?
One of the biggest misconceptions about relationships is the belief that marriage will change someone’s character. The truth is, only God can transform a person’s heart.
“It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house”
Instead of trying to fix a person’s lack of respect, ask yourself:
Does this person value me as God commands?
Are they receptive to biblical teachings on relationships and marriage?
Are they willing to grow in respect and communication?
If the answer to these questions is no, reconsidering the relationship is wise.
What Should You Do?
Seek God’s Wisdom in Prayer
“ If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally”
Before making any decision, pray for clarity. Ask God to reveal whether this relationship aligns with His plan for your life.
Establish Clear Boundaries
“A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger”
Have an open conversation about how certain behaviors affect you. If your partner disregards your concerns or mocks your feelings, take it as a serious red flag.
Evaluate Spiritual Alignment
“ Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers”
Marriage is a lifelong covenant. If your partner does not share your faith, values, or commitment to biblical principles, this will create deep struggles down the road.
Walking away from the wrong relationship can be painful, but it may be necessary to step into the relationship God truly has for you.
Should You Still Get Married?
Marriage is not just a romantic gesture—it is a lifelong covenant. If there are serious issues in the relationship now, they will not disappear after marriage.
“ A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping”
A lack of respect in a relationship will lead to constant frustration and conflict. If your partner does not honor you before marriage, there is no guarantee they will honor you after.
Final Reflection: Are You Settling?
Are you accepting a relationship where you are not valued?
Is this the kind of marriage you want for a lifetime?
Are you trusting God’s plan, even if it means letting go of a relationship?
“ For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end”
God’s plan for your life is greater than any relationship that does not honor Him. Trust Him to lead you toward a future where love and respect are the foundation of your marriage.
Would you like to share your thoughts or experiences? Let’s continue the conversation.
